A sad day…

My body was not pleased with me, and didn’t let me sleep last night. About 2:30 I got up, and took some Ibuprophen, finally getting some sleep.  I slept late, and was slow getting down to the barn to feed. The pasture horses are the last to get fed, and while I was throwing hay out I was short one horse. There were only three bays Zara was missing. I knew something was wrong, and started calling out to her. As I went around to the gate I could see her standing in the loafing barn in the corner. I went up to her, and found her bathed in sweat. I ran to the gator, went up to the house to get the number of her owner, and to send an email saying she was in extreme distress so I was calling the vet. I raced back to the barn, got a shot, halter, and lead. By this time (only a few minutes) she was down. I gave her the shot, and for a moment I thought I could pull her through this. She tried to get up with me pulling, but I’m not strong enough. I called my veterinary friend, and told her what was going on all the while trying to get Zara up. I had done what she would have done, Zara started making an effort to get up again, so I hung up, but I still couldn’t get her up. Zara started thrashing, and I called our vet. I barely explained what was going on when she gave a huge thrashing movement, and rolled over kicking at the stall wall. It was too late she was dying. Her tongue was turning blue, I got some reaction when I twitched her nose, and for a brief moment I thought perhaps I could still save her then she died. From the moment I found her till she died was only about 15 minutes, it was that fast. I have had horses colic before, that’s why we have the Banamine on hand at all times. Sadie has gotten to the point where her eyes have rolled back into her head, but she has always pulled out of it. Sherry said it wouldn’t have mattered when I found her, or what I did (and I did all the right things), she still would have died. She explained what was happening, and said even with surgery the chances were only 50/50 that she could have survived. She lost a horse the same way only when she went to feed in the morning he was dead. I don’t know which is worse, to find your beloved friend gone, or to have them die in your arms so to speak.

I called Zara’s owner to let her know she was gone, Rudy, and Sherry too. I was just leaving the pasture when April showed up. You always run the what if tapes in your head, and even though my mind knows there was nothing I did, or could have done that would have made a difference, my heart doesn’t understand. We came up to the house and Joe (owner’s husband) called to find out what had happened. He’s not a horse person so I tried my best to help him understand how a horse can be fine one minute, and die with no warning. Rudy said he had a friend who was showing in Tucson. The horse performed flawlessly, and even took the championship, but when his owner washed her down (as he always did before putting her away), she colicked, and died right there on the spot. You just never know with horses.

April’s mother gave me the phone number of a friend of theirs who did work for them, and he said he would be able to come out in the afternoon. I talked to Rudy a bit, then the horses started making a commotion so we went down to the barn. Ridalgo (paint) was making all the noise calling out to the other girls. We had to do something so we took Stormy out to work him. We had just gotten to the round pen when Jan (owner of the stallion Zara was bred to) pulled up. Bobbie Jo called, and wanted her to look at Zara. I’m not sure why, but it really doesn’t matter, she’s dead, and nothing will change that. We talked a bit, she left, and I went back to Stormy, and April. Stormy is still shy with April but he did pretty well. He wouldn’t come in so I took over a bit till he came in on cue. He knows what he’s supposed to do, but he’s a kid, a teenager actually, and you know how teenager’s can be. As with Star we brought out the saddle etc. beforehand so I told her to get the blanket. He had already shied away from the saddle when she took him into the round pen so I figured if we got him to accept the blanket we would be doing good. He wasn’t sure about that strange spooky thing, but we rubbed him with it, and put it on, and off his back, both sides, down his butt, legs, and under his belly. He did so well I had April get the bridle, and let him smell it before I rubbed it all over his face and ears. It was scary, but he did great. We gave him lots of praises before we put him away, and then he got to tell his dad (Ibn), and adopted dad (Jeri), all about his new adventure. I was very proud of him.

By this time it was about 1:00 so I sent April home, and I went up to the house. I was exhausted from all the stress. I sat in front of the TV with my eyes closed until Augnacio called. He would be here in about 15 minutes. I met him at the gate, and led him in where he parked the truck, while I walked over to the pasture. Our horses are used to all kinds of equipment so they were pretty good with the backhoe. Actually I had to chase them away, they’re too curious for their own good. I showed him where to dig the hole, and once that was finished we used the backhoe with a chain to drag Zara out, put her in the bucket, and bury her. She is the second horse this year that I have had to bury. That’s two too many.

It was 3:30 by the time we were finished, so I went up to the house, and rested a bit before going out to feed. When one has animals one never knows when something will go wrong. We have been very lucky. We’ve not lost a foal, and Sara was the only other horse we had to put down besides Lance. Sara was 21, and suffering from Cushing’s disease before there were any real treatments for the disease on equines. Lance broke his leg in a freak accident during a storm, and now Zara has died. It’s a pretty good track record for nearly 20 years of horse breeding. Each death tears at your heart, and even though you know that things will happen eventually, you never get used to the idea of losing one of your best friends. It doesn’t matter that Zara didn’t belong to us she was in my care. She was a good mare, and I was so looking forward to seeing the foal she would drop. I knew it would be a beautiful foal, and I mourn that loss as well. They get under your skin these beautiful creatures who ask so little of their human companions. Perhaps it’s that loving heart so willing to please that touches the soul of man, I don’t know. All I know is that Zara will be missed. I will miss her. She’s in a better place now, where the grass is always green, and she can run to her hearts content free of the bonds of an earthly existence.

Goodbye Zara…